Love, Honor & Value.
A family caregiver speaks out about the choices and challenges of caregiving
By Suzanne Geffen Mintz
President/Co-founder,
National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA)
Review by Mary Crowley
caregiver, MS Ireland

Suzanne Geffen Mintz has written an inspiring, compelling and emotional account of her life as a caregiver to her husband, Steven, who has MS. In a story that all carers will be able to relate to, she highlights the tremendous contribution that the caregiver provides, not only to their individual loved one but also to society as a whole. Some do this at huge physical, emotional and financial cost to themselves.

She brings us through the early stages of her husband’s illness, when he first experienced a tingling sensation in both legs; the anxious time when Steven was in hospital and when the doctor finally informed her that he had MS, a degenerative and incurable neurological disease; the depression and despair that followed for her and her family; and how she picked herself up and coped.

Suzanne explains a SWOT analysis. SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. This enables the carer to begin to take charge, to find ways to cope with their fears, to decide what choices they have, maybe to seek assistance from family, friends or from their community, and to realise that they are not alone.

She highlights the isolation that comes from having to focus so much on day-to-day living while family and friends turn away. She shares with us the experiences and sacrifices of other carers: some may have a father, mother, child or other family member in their care; some may have to give up their employment health insurance or pension rights.

In conclusion, she highlights the frustration, sadness, grief, love, kindness, compassion, anger, pride and guilt in a very sympathetic way. It is fascinating and reassuring to read about the experiences of so many different people and how they coped. It conveys the important message to carers that there are others out there having the same experiences.

It should be noted that Suzanne is American. While she has written about her life as a long-term female caregiver in the US, the book manages to retain a universal appeal. I would recommend it to carers of both sexes and all nationalities.

Publisher: Capital Books, 2002, ISBN 1892123568, Price US$14.95

Me and My Shadow –
Learning to live with
Multiple Sclerosis
By Carole Mackie
with Sue Brattle
Review by Jackie Weight
cattle farmer, England.

This is an autobiography of a young woman who is enjoying life to the full in her dream job as a British Airways stewardess, when suddenly, on a break between flights in Rio (her dream destination), she is taken ill and hospitalised. So starts her journey to discovering that she has MS.

Like many of us who have been through it, the journey can be a long and emotionally painful one. Carole’s story is told from the heart. It’s an open, honest and positive account of the struggle faced when trying to get answers that sometimes don’t exist. In the book, Carole’s parents, ex-boyfriend and employer take the opportunity to describe Carole’s illness from their viewpoint – this helps us understand their different reactions. The book also tells us of Carole’s amazing fundraising events in aid of MS research.

This book may worry some people who have recently been diagnosed with MS and don’t know what to expect. Carole was unfortunate enough to experience quite quickly many of the symptoms involved with the condition. However, from the moment I started reading the book, I couldn’t put it down; partly, I suppose, because I saw myself in Carole too many times and felt myself agreeing with her, both from a symptomatic and a personal point of view. I was surprised to learn that two such different women could be so alike.

Overall, a very positive book and a really good read which I would recommend not only to people with MS, but also to their family, friends and anyone who really wants to understand how it feels to have MS.

Publisher: Aurum Press Ltd, 1999, ISBN 1854106279, Price US$24.95